How to talk to children about September 11 and the tragic events

Talking to your child about 9/11 can be an extremely difficult conversation. Sharing the monstrous events of September 11, 2001 with a young child can be painful and emotional for parents.

If you are having this conversation with a child, let their questions guide you. Have an age-appropriate conversation with them and remember that this first conversation is just one of many.

There are many valuable resources available to parents, from books that tell true stories in a child-friendly way to online curricula organized by age group.

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Here are five tips for talking to your child about September 11th.

1. Assess a child’s knowledge

2. Early conversations should be one of many

3. Read compelling books with your child

4. Discover the tools at your disposal

5. Take your child to a memorial for the September 11 attacks

Before going into detail, start by asking, “What do you know about September 11?” This will help you find out what participants already know from school or from what they have heard.

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When you first talk to your child, let their questions guide you.

“Letting children's questions guide your conversation will help ensure you're speaking to them at their level and offering them the information in digestible portions,” Kristie Kiernan Bouryal, vice president of the Tunnel to Towers Foundation, said in an email to Fox News Digital.

You will have many different conversations with your children about September 11. Don't feel pressured to tackle all aspects of the day at once.

“Then build on each conversation or learning experience to complete your child's understanding of the different aspects of 9/11,” Bouryal said. “Remember that you don't have to cover 9/11 in its entirety at once, but you can build on lesson after lesson after lesson. This structure allows for an ongoing dialogue where you can reinforce previous learning while providing new insights.”

A chronology of the events of September 11, 2001

The conversations parents have with their children can look very different depending on the child’s age.

If your child is very young, such as preschool age, you should keep your lessons very simple and avoid complex details.

As children get older, they will learn more about the tragedy. As they get older, you can also ask them more about their feelings and thoughts and help them deal with what they may be feeling or asking.

“9/11 is an important day in our country's history that can be discussed from a variety of angles. However, there are age-appropriate ways to address the many aspects of this day with children without overwhelming them or instilling fear in them,” Bouryal said. “For example, learning that after the worst acts, good prevailed is always age-appropriate. Learning that first responders are heroes who put themselves in dangerous situations to keep us safe is always age-appropriate. Additionally, teaching your child that they can be an everyday hero by doing the right thing and helping others is another lasting, wonderful legacy children can learn from 9/11.”

It is important to find the right balance when talking to your child, describing the terrible events of the day without instilling fear and doubt.

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“The best way to achieve this balance is to convey information in an age-appropriate way – either verbally, through reading, or through first-hand video accounts. Let your child's questions guide the dialogue, and talk about how the information made your child feel and how people must have felt that day and in the aftermath,” Bouryal said. “If prayers are appropriate for you and your child, you can also incorporate that by praying together. But please know that the above approach has worked in my family and many others. And I have never met a child who didn't want to know more about 9/11 after an initial education.”

There are stories online and in print from 9/11 survivors detailing what they experienced that day. While some are very detailed and should only be read with parental consideration or reserved for older children, these accounts are extremely powerful and tell a tragic, dark story from American history.

While the facts are crucial, it is equally important to convey emotion and empathy surrounding September 11, 2001. The fear, suffering, heroism and patriotism felt across the country from the perspective of survivors and those who remember are equally important. Some were able to escape on their own and others were heroically rescued by first responders who sacrificed their lives that day.

Have children verbally retell the day's events to provide insightful and emotional instruction.

Bouryal has written his own trilogy of children's books that tell the true stories of the events of September 11, 2001.

“I wrote the Discovering Heroes™ trilogy from the perspective of the children in my family. The children's questions and the answers from their loving family members shaped the narratives of the books,” said Bouryal. “This approach helped me ensure that the trilogy was age-appropriate, while also making it easier for my parents to share their experiences of 9/11.”

“My father was a first responder on 9/11. He was involved, along with many others, in the rescue operation on which the movie World Trade Center is based. On 9/11, my father lost over 100 friends, and we as a family lost many people we knew and loved,” added Bouryal. “It was not easy for my parents to talk to their grandchildren about the worst day of their lives. My father struggled to tell the children about such a big, emotional event in our lives that had so many angles and perspectives that he wanted them to understand. We decided to let the children ask questions, which made it easier for them to share their experiences on 9/11. My father realized that he did not need to tell the whole story at once, but that the children wanted to learn and absorb the information as they asked questions, and this allowed him to provide snapshots of important aspects of the day over a period of time.”

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“I highly recommend letting children ask questions to guide their learning process, and I am confident that the materials we provide through the Tunnel to Towers 9/11 Institute™ will be a valuable resource for any conversation you want to have with your child about 9/11,” Bouryal told Fox News Digital.

There are many resources available to parents to help them talk to their children about September 11th.

These include many online lesson plans to help educate children about 9/11. You can review these lesson plans on your own first and then review them with your child.

Lesson plans can be a great way to learn about the history of 9/11 and its impact on us today. You might even learn a few new things yourself.

“We offer free, age-appropriate materials through the Tunnel to Towers 9/11 Institute™ that you can use with your children,” Bouryal explained. “From lessons to activities to background information so you can answer questions or ask them during a dialogue.”

There are over 1,000 memorials in the United States dedicated to the victims of September 11. This will be a sad experience for your child, but it can also serve as an educational experience.

If there is a memorial or museum nearby, consider taking your child. If you can't visit a memorial in person, show your child some of the memorials online. Pictures are likely to raise questions.

Learn about the architecture and the reasons behind its design. There is a deeper meaning behind the design of each monument.

Source of the original article: How to talk to children about September 11 and the tragic events