Dear Abby, How should my child deal with family members who do not support a transgender relative?

Dear Abby: My young adult child came out to us as transgender a few months ago. My husband and I, as well as her siblings, support her and love her unconditionally.

Recently, she decided to share the news with her grandparents. She sent a heartfelt email along with some resources specifically for grandparents. One grandparent was fully supportive, immediately started using the correct name and pronouns, began researching, and continues to treat her like the amazing young adult she is.

The other grandparents sent a text message that essentially said, “We love you because you're family, but we don't really support you.” They have had no contact since. My child is extremely disappointed and I'm heartbroken for her. She (and we) know she could lose friends and family because of this, but I guess we always hoped that the grandparents' love was unconditional. What advice do you have for her and for us to continue to support her?

— Unconditionally in Oregon

Dear Unconditionally: Your daughter is lucky to have loving, supportive parents, siblings, and ONE grandparent who is willing (and able) to accept her for who she really is. She needs to be prepared that not everyone will.

These other grandparents seem less willing to learn and less flexible in what they can accept. Your daughter should continue on her own path and not allow her judgments to define her. If she can do that, she will be happier.

Previously

Dear Abby, How do we tell a friend that the restaurant she chose for her birthday dinner is too expensive?

Dear Abby: My husband and I want to have children, but how can I ease the fear of pregnancy complications?

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Dear Abby was written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and created by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at www.DearAbby.com or PO Box 69440, Los Angeles, California 90069. Copyright 2024, Andrews, McMeel Syndication.