I am overwhelmed and my brother's comment did not help me

DEAR HARRIETTE: I feel hurt after a conversation with my brother. He told me I was fat and suggested that I should lose some weight.

I'm 30 years old and had my second child a few months ago. Between caring for my newborn and older child and working full time, I'm completely overwhelmed. Sleep is a luxury and finding time for a decent meal feels like an achievement in itself, let alone focusing on diet or exercise.

I've been thinking about my weight, but I've had to put it on hold because I have so much going on at the moment. My doctor only recently gave me the green light to start exercising again, but with the exhaustion that comes with caring for a newborn, it's been hard to start.

I already feel pressure from all sides to get back to how I was before the pregnancy, and my brother's comment made me feel even worse.

Should I confront my brother about how his words affected me, or should I just let it go? And how do I find a balance between being kind to myself and the pressure to lose weight?

— Obesity

DEAR OVERWEIGHT PEOPLE: Your brother didn't choose his words well. I'm sorry he hurt your feelings. Yes, you can and should tell him that his words didn't help – especially since you're already conscious of your weight.

Since you've just had a baby, your hormones are still going crazy as you get to know and care for your child. Explain that what you need most now is someone to cheer you on and support you as you navigate being a new mom. Maybe they can accompany you or help you in other ways to relieve the stress you're experiencing, rather than shaming you about your obesity.

However, you can take small steps to restore your health. I remember gaining a lot of weight right after my daughter was born. I didn't take care of it for over a year and it took a long time to lose it again. Talk to your doctor about what you can do for your overall health – to regain energy and vitality and to shed the extra pounds.

DEAR HARRIETTE: As for “living together,” the 36-year-old woman who desperately wants to get married says: For a few hundred dollars, she can buy him a wedding ring, choose a suitable time and place, get down on one knee and propose.

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