Understanding Teen Suicide and How Parents Can Help

“The pain is indescribable,” Rachel Keya begins, her voice shaking with grief. “You never imagine outliving your child, and when it happens by suicide, there is this additional layer of guilt and confusion. You constantly ask yourself: What did we miss? What could we have done differently?”

Even two years after the tragic loss of her 17-year-old son Kevin, who committed suicide, a feeling of inexplicable pain still hangs over Rachel's home like a heavy shadow that refuses to lift.

The weight of the tragedy, compounded by unanswered questions and missed signs, still haunts her family.

“Kevin was always quiet, you know?” Rachel reflects, her words tinged with sadness. “But looking back, I see that his silence wasn't just typical teenage moodiness.

It was a cry for help that we didn’t hear.” Her memories paint a heartbreaking picture of how clearly the unnoticed signs are reflected in her memory.

Rachel, a mother of three, remembers being busy with work in the months before Kevin's death. During school holidays, Kevin spent countless hours playing video games, lost in the virtual world of his PlayStation. “I tried to talk to him,” she says, “but all I got were grunts or monosyllabic answers. I shrugged it off and thought he was just a normal teenager. How wrong I was.”

Kevin's mood swings became more and more unpredictable over time. He would snap at his younger sister over the smallest things and then retreat into the solitude of his room, sometimes for hours.

Even Rachel's husband had tried to contact him, but Kevin remained withdrawn, trapped in his own world of pain.

“There were days when he seemed to be fine,” Rachel remembers, her voice heavy with regret.

“He would joke with us at dinner or play video games with his cousins. These moments gave us a false sense of security and made us believe that whatever was troubling him was only temporary.”

Rachel painfully admits that her son had a hard time coping with the separation from his father, which had occurred three years before the tragedy.

The cracks in their marriage were all too obvious to Kevin, no matter how hard they tried to hide them. They manifested themselves in frequent arguments and the distance created by their professional obligations.

“Be careful. Your child’s life could depend on it,” says Rachel.

According to Dr. Catherine Syengo Mutisya, a psychiatrist with twenty years of professional experience and a passionate mental health advocate, teenage suicides in Kenya are an alarming and growing problem.

Citing the World Health Organization (WHO), Dr. Mutisya notes that suicide is now the fourth leading cause of death among young people aged 15 to 29 – a sobering statistic that continues to rise.

“Many parents are unaware of the warning signs,” explains Dr. Mutisya. “Things like sudden changes in behavior, mood swings, or withdrawal from activities that were once enjoyable are often overlooked, but all of these can be signs of a deeper problem.”

She emphasizes that today's Generation Z and Alpha teenagers are exposed to an overwhelming amount of information, much of it global in nature and not just influenced by their immediate environment such as family or school.

“They absorb content from all over the world and this engagement fundamentally changes their outlook on life,” adds Dr. Mutisya.

While this constant flow of information opens up new horizons for young people, it can also lead to a distorted view of reality.

“Social media often presents an idealized version of life where everything seems perfect,” explains Dr. Mutisya. “People rarely post about their problems, and this leads to a false comparison. Teens may feel that their lives are lacking, worse than others, or just not good enough.”

The resulting pressure contributes to a rise in depression and behavioral problems in society and often catches parents off guard, as they may have little understanding of the enormous burden their children are carrying.

One of the biggest obstacles to addressing teenage mental health, particularly in African countries, is the persistence of harmful misconceptions.

“Depression is often dismissed as laziness, and mental illness is still equated with madness in many communities,” says Dr. Mutisya. This lack of understanding, she adds, hinders the early detection and treatment of mental health problems.

Dr. Mutisya emphasizes that a successful intervention must involve the family, especially parents. “In therapy, especially with adolescents, it is crucial to include parents in the treatment plan,” she emphasizes. “We cannot ignore the powerful influence that peers and the home environment have on young adults.”

Her team has developed a framework for working with teens known as the “4 Cs” – caring, communication, connection and compassion.

These pillars guide treatment and support systems in their suicide prevention efforts. “If a parent even suspects that their child is having suicidal thoughts, immediate intervention is critical. Don't wait until something tragic happens,” she advises.

Joy Lango, an experienced psychologist, agrees with this view and points out that teenagers are often adept at hiding their true feelings.

“On the surface they seem to be doing well, but behind the mask many of them are struggling with serious emotional problems,” explains Ms Lango.

“If a once lively teenager suddenly begins to withdraw from social activities, changes eating habits, or complains of persistent, unexplained body aches, it's a sign that something is seriously wrong.”

Ms. Lango stresses the importance of parents learning to distinguish between typical teenage mood swings and more serious, life-threatening problems.

“It's normal for teenagers to have bad days or even bad weeks. But if you notice that they're struggling to cope in multiple areas of their lives – school, with friends, family – it's time to be concerned.”

According to Ms. Lango, there is rarely a single factor that drives a teenager to suicide.

Rather, it is usually a complex network of causes, including trauma from the past, psychological problems, stress at school or personal conflicts such as identity crises.

“Understanding these risk factors is critical,” she says. “It allows us to identify when a teen may be more vulnerable and when early intervention is most needed.”

The stigma of mental illness is another persistent obstacle in combating teen suicide.

Lango is passionate about breaking down the myths and misconceptions that prevent open discussion.

“There's a misconception that talking about suicide might make teens think about it, but research shows the opposite is true,” she says. “Honest conversations about mental health and suicidal thoughts actually help reduce risk and encourage teens to seek help.”

Although teen suicide rates continue to rise, Ms. Lango remains hopeful. “Suicide is preventable,” she says firmly. “With the right support systems in place, parents and caregivers can make a big difference.”

The challenge for many parents is to find the delicate balance between respecting their teenagers' need for privacy and ensuring their safety.

Ms. Lango advises creating an environment based on trust and open communication, where teenagers feel safe to express their concerns without fear of judgment.