“The Secret Lives of Mormon Wives” is almost feminist

Reality show
Swinger scandal, divorces and sweet drinks: the secret life of the Mormons

Mormon women like to present themselves online as cooking housewives. The new reality series “The Secret Lives of Mormon Wives” shows a different picture – and is causing a sensation.

The most successful Mormon woman on the internet is probably influencer Hannah Neeleman. Never heard of her? The young mother has ten million followers on her profile “Ballerina Farm,” who she takes with her every day in her life on the family farm of the same name: lots of children, home-cooked food, a seemingly holy world – and in complete harmony with the strict rules of the religious community. For example, Mormons are not allowed to have sex before marriage, drink alcohol, coffee or black tea, and are not allowed to smoke.

The protagonists, who live in Salt Lake City in the US state of Utah, present themselves somewhat differently in “The Secret Lives of Mormon Wives” (available on Disney+). The reality series is currently causing quite a stir, especially in the USA.

“The Secret Lives of Mormon Wives”: #MomTok scandal

Because the show is already preceded by a scandal. Taylor Frankie Paul, one of the leading actresses in “The Secret Lives of Mormon Wives,” rose to fame on Tiktok a few years ago when she and friends posted dance videos and other collaborations under the hashtag “MomTok.” The women enjoyed many clicks and followers. But then came the shock: In 2022, Taylor Frankie Paul announced that she and her husband were getting a divorce. Not only that. She revealed that she and other members of “MomTok” had hosted so-called “soft swinging” parties where they swapped partners with each other. “MomTok” fell apart, the other women blamed Paul, and she caused a stir when she presented a new partner on her page shortly after the separation.

“The Secret Lives of Mormon Wives” begins with the investigation of the online scandal. The first episode ends with a bang: Taylor Frankie Paul's arrest. It is not the only storyline that is likely to upset some Mormons.

Criticism of representation

The portrayal of religion and the way it is represented by influencers has caused some anger online. The young women are said to be too revealing, too wild, and not traditional enough. This is exactly what the series itself addresses. The women divide themselves up among themselves, saying specifically that there are “saints” and “sinners” among them. The latter are the divorced women, four out of eight women. Some of them also drink alcohol, but most of them stick to “soda drinks”, including lemonade.

In fact, it is interesting to see how the religion and everyday lives of the women are presented in the series. For example, when they discuss how women are treated in church and how men enjoy special privileges. Or how paradoxical it is that as young girls they were told that sex was something evil until they were at the altar. “Before marriage, sex is taboo, but afterward you are expected to be a porn star for your husband,” says one of the young women. The scene is almost comical when she realizes that they are all the main breadwinners in their marriages. Thanks to social media. They bring home the money and take care of the children at the same time.

First child at 16 years

In the episode, seven of the eight women talk about marriage and the fact that Mormons usually marry (too) young. “That's the problem. Everyone gets married before their brains have even developed,” says one of them critically. In one of the first episodes, Mikayla Matthews says that she became pregnant when she was just 16 years old. The child's father – her current husband – was already 21 years old at the time.

And so, on the one hand, “The Secret Lives of Mormon Wives” is pure escapism that doesn't require too much brainpower, but on the other hand, the series actually gives an insight into the life of the Mormons that we haven't seen before. In some places, the show seems downright feminist – who would have thought that?

“The Secret Lives of Mormon Wives” is available for streaming on Disney+