“I am a rapist,” admits husband Dominique Pelicot in French mass rape trial

Warning: This story contains disturbing details from the beginning.

Dominique Pelicot, the 71-year-old man accused of drugging his wife to put her to sleep and recruiting dozens of men to abuse her over a decade, has admitted all the charges against him in his first testimony since the trial began on September 2.

Referring to the 50 co-defendants accused of raping his now ex-wife Gisèle, Mr Pelicot said: “I am a rapist like the others in this room.”

“They all knew, they can't say otherwise,” he said. Only 15 of the 50 defendants admitted to the rape, most said they only participated in sexual acts.

Mr Pelicot said of his ex-wife: “She doesn’t deserve this.”

“I was very happy with her,” he said in court.

Gisèle, who had the opportunity to respond shortly afterwards, said: “I find it difficult to listen to this. I lived for 50 years with a man who I never thought was capable of this. I trusted him completely.”

Although cameras are not allowed in the courtroom, the trial is being held in public at Gisèle Pelicot's request. She waived her right to anonymity at the beginning of the proceedings. Her legal team said that making the trial public would shift the “shame” back onto the defendant.

Mr Pelicot, a father and grandfather, began his testimony in court by describing traumatic childhood experiences and said he was abused by a nurse at the age of nine.

When asked about his marriage to Gisèle, Mr Pelicot said he considered suicide when he found out she was having an affair.

During his testimony on Tuesday morning, Mr Pelicot repeatedly assured the court that he never “hated” his wife and was in fact “crazy about [her]… I loved her infinitely and I still do.”

“I loved her very much for 40 years and very much for 10 years,” he added, apparently referring to the decade he spent drugging and abusing her.

Mr Pelicot was then questioned by Stéphane Babonneau, one of Gisèle's lawyers, who asked him why he had not been able to muster the will to stop abusing her, even when she began to show health problems.

In previous sessions of the study, Gisèle had said she was afraid of developing Alzheimer's or a brain tumor because she was experiencing hair loss and weight loss, as well as major memory lapses. In fact, these were side effects of the medication her husband was giving her.

“I tried to quit, but my addiction was stronger, the cravings grew,” he said.

“I tried to calm her down, I abused her trust. I should have stopped earlier, actually I should never have started.”

Mr Pelicot is also accused of drugging and abusing his daughter Caroline after semi-naked photos of her were found on his laptop. He has previously denied this and also said on Tuesday that he never touched his grandchildren. “I can look my family in the eye and tell them nothing further happened,” he said.

Mr Pelicot also said he “went kinky” when he met a nurse online in 2010 who suggested he give his wife a sedative, explained how to administer it and shared photos of anesthetized women. “That's when it clicked,” Mr Pelicot said. “That's when it all started.”

During part of Tuesday's hearing, Pelicot was also questioned about the thousands of videos he filmed of men abusing his unconscious wife, which were found by investigators and were crucial in tracking down the 50 men now accused of rape.

Mr Pelicot admitted that he filmed the men partly for “enjoyment” but also “as a precaution”.

Throughout the morning, Mr Pelicot seemed determined to refute one of the main arguments used in the defence of several of the defendants, which is based on the premise that they did not “know” that they were raping Gisèle – in other words, that they thought they were having consensual sex with her.

Mr Pelicot met the defendants in a chatroom called “Without Their Knowledge” on the now-closed Coco website, which hosted pornographic material.

“I didn't force anyone, they came looking for me,” he said on Tuesday. “They asked me if they could come with me and I said yes. I didn't tie anyone up and drag them along.”

Some said they were “manipulated” by Mr Pelicot into believing they were taking part in an erotic game in which Gisèle only pretended to be asleep because she was shy. Several denied knowing they were being filmed.

But Mr Pelicot said the only person he ever “manipulated” was his wife. He also said the men must have known they were being filmed: “There was a tripod and a screen attached to it. Anyone could see it as soon as they entered the room.”

Mr Pelicot said he wanted to prove that his wife was “a victim and not an accomplice. He wanted to prove that everything happened without her knowledge. I know that many [defendants] have denied this.”

Béatrice Zavarro, Mr Pelicot's lawyer, told French television that she did not know what people would think of her client but that he was sharing “the truth”.

She added that Mr Pelicot was “very depressed” and that while she did not know what his wife would think of his request for forgiveness, “the confession is now underway and he will move on”.

She said: “We will reach the end of this process and know everything about Dominique Pelicot.”

Mr Pelicot, who has been diagnosed with a kidney infection and kidney stones, has been absent from court for nearly a week because of illness. He is due to give evidence throughout the day, although he will be granted frequent breaks.