Nightsleeper review: Yes, it's 15 carriages of high-speed nonsense… but I'm in!, writes CHRISTOPHER STEVENS

Night Sleepers (BBC1)

Evaluation:

Say what you will about the international criminal masterminds behind the hackers, but they know how to keep the trains running on time.

The 11.44pm overnight express from Glasgow to London reached its first stop at Motherwell station on time and continued its journey with split-second precision – remotely controlled, in the opening section of Nightsleeper.

Frankly, for this kind of efficiency, I'm willing to overlook ransom demands from madmen with robotic voices. So what if they use electronic viruses to place their demands on train station departure boards?

Whatever the crooks demand, it cannot be more than what the Labour Party has already given to train drivers – who are now redundant thanks to the darknet brigade.

Taxpayers will probably be better off. And since the controls are set to maximum acceleration, the same applies to commuters.

Joe Roag unexpectedly becomes involved in a dangerous conspiracy surrounding the night train from Glasgow to London

Nightsleeper is 15 carriages of high-speed nonsense that is impossible to take seriously, but if you give in to the momentum, it's an entertaining ride.

Joe Cole plays a former Met detective, also named Joe, who is now wanted by Interpol and on the run.

Everyone thinks he's the villain, but of course he's the hero. Thriller writer John Buchan first used this phrase in The 39 Steps… although his hero, Richard Hannay, was travelling in the opposite direction, from London to Glasgow. Perhaps they'll meet in Crewe.

Joe's buddy is a ten-something boy named Mouse (Adam Mitchell). He's a video game wizard, and I bet he'll eventually use his PlayStation powers to regain control of the train.

James Cosmo, who plays a retired train engineer with a weak heart, will probably be there to glean some instruction.

Also on board are Katie Leung, a fearless investigative journalist for Lifestyle Trends magazine, and Sharon Small, who, despite being the Minister for Transport, seems unable to open a door without first being questioned by her assistant. Unfortunately, said assistant is left behind on the platform.

Ruth Madeley is a petulant passenger in a wheelchair and Sharon Rooney is the tea lady, although we should probably call her a Club Class Customer Lounge Service Presenter or something similar.

Joe Cole, who plays Joe Roag in Nightsleeper, rose to fame as John Shelby in the BBC historical drama Peaky Blinders

Joe Cole and Alexandra Roach in the photocall for Nightsleeper

The story unfolds in real time, which heightens the tension. If it were set entirely on board the train, this could create a thrilling sense of claustrophobia, but instead there is a parallel narrative and a second set of characters.

Alexandra Roach plays the boss of a cyber spy who is called back to the office from Gatwick Airport just as she is about to fly away on holiday. She also spends most of the episode on the train, talking to Joe, who happens to have her mobile number tattooed on his brain after they met at a security conference.

He must have made quite an impression on her because she can't stop flirting with him. As the Express speeds towards oblivion, they quote each other their favorite pop lyrics.

Both of you take a private compartment.