Stefan Raab’s TV comeback: Ouch!

“Being made fun of by Stefan Raab is a special blessing,” explains Thomas Gottschalk at some point, long after people first wondered whether this “TV event of the year” was perhaps created entirely by artificial intelligence. According to the theory of the former “Wetten Dass..?” presenter, RTL viewers could certainly feel extremely honored on Saturday evening.

13,000 people came to the PSD Bank Dome in Düsseldorf, paying up to 200 euros for tickets without knowing what to expect. A boxing match, of course, the third between Stefan Raab and ex-pro Regina Halmich, but six rounds of two minutes each in the ring are not enough to fill a Saturday night show. Great prospects, actually, a lot of freedom for a television giant with an abundance of ideas, good taste in music and almost a decade of time to think things over since his retirement from TV.

Lots of airtime for warm words

It was already clear that the big comeback show would drag on, as there wasn't even a boxing ring set up at the beginning. Of course, this doesn't deter old Raab fans – the longest “Beat the Raab” show lasted more than six hours in 2014. The crucial difference: instead of showing the entertainer at work, his new home station RTL ordered a two-hour, largely pre-produced tribute to mark his return in front of the camera.

It started with a tracking shot through a light-flooded room, full of trophies, and then reminded us of what Raab had done to earn all those Bambis, Golden Cameras, Echos, etc. Vivavision, TV Total, Eurovision Song Contest, Wok World Championship, diving, TV duel, chain link fence, Lena and so on, one compilation followed the next, interspersed with eulogies from the who's who of German television.

In the clip, Markus Lanz calls Raab a “great musician,” “an incredibly creative, nice guy,” and later also “a genius.” “These are things that people still watch today,” explains the ZDF man, before Raab asks an employee in a nail salon in the next clip how much “one nail job” costs.

Television colleagues Peter Kloeppel, Anne Will, Judith Rakers, Helge Schneider, Oliver Welke and Gottschalk, all neatly draped in blurred lofts or television studios, were also given plenty of airtime for warm words, just like Udo Lindenberg, Herbert Grönemeyer and Campino, whose sentence “Stefan made my life more fun” was even edited in twice. “If we showed all the highlights, we would be up until 2025,” asserted Raab's ex-practitioner Elton, who hosted the evening with Laura Wontorra and Frank “Buschi” Buschmann – that's exactly how it felt.

“Let’s be brave again on television!”

Every now and then, the presenters on site interrupt the recorded reminiscences about the old days by holding the microphone under the noses of unsuspecting audience members or celebrities such as Evelyn Burdecki and Natascha Ochsenknecht so that they can confirm Stefan Raab's legendary status. “Look, the man is worth his money!” the broadcaster, which is said to have tied Raab to itself for five years with at least 90 million euros, shouted into the ears of the viewers with the show concept. But it was clear to hear: “Look how nice it used to be. We are afraid.”

“How do young people, this important target group, react to this show?” asked Frank Buschmann after an hour and a half of nothing, and then added in all seriousness: “Let’s be brave again on television!”

After all that, Stefan Raab could only lose. And that's what he did, at least in the ring, which actually fell from the ceiling of the hall, sparking, at some point when no one was expecting it. The showmaster delayed his entrance for so long that it bordered on unsportsmanlike conduct, and only revealed his appearance after several countdowns and a “cat litter” song by Helge Schneider (the highlight of the evening), which he had kept a secret since announcing his comeback on Instagram. And here, too, there were no surprises: Raab looks the same as always, just a little more toned and now with a light grey beard.

After he had performed his new song “Pa aufs Maul” with the support of Sido and Ski Aggu, the boxing began and Regina Halmich, whipped up by the singing Doro Pesch and the frustration with her opponents, put him under so much pressure in the second round that the referee counted Raab out while standing. But he pulled himself together again and actually survived all six rounds. In the end, Halmich won on points.

New show only on RTL+

It was only after the fight that Raab picked up the microphone for the first time that evening and confirmed what had already leaked out a few weeks ago. “I've decided to do shows again.” Freshly showered, he then invited everyone to a press conference where both journalists and food content creators were able to ask questions about the program live at 11:30 p.m. on a Saturday on RTL – and thus wrote another short chapter in television history after a late evening.

A whole generation is suffering without good entertainment, he explained to the press and Instagram representatives, which is why he now feels obliged to become active again. It starts next Wednesday, not on linear television, but only on the streaming platform RTL+, with a new show whose acronym was originally supposed to be NWSDWH, the mysterious sequence of letters on Raab's cap when he was still sitting on the island in a fat suit. In fact, it is now called “You won't win the million here” and is supposed to be a mixture of “competition, quiz and event of the week” in which you can win a million euros every week.

“I'm not getting any younger and I'm doing this to entertain myself,” Stefan Raab answered at the end when asked why all this and why now. The hope that he would still be able to get along with the audience is dampened after this evening. One suspects that television will never be as funny as it was before.