“Hurried Child Syndrome”: What it does to children when hectic life dominates their childhood

“Hurried Child Syndrome”
When children grow up faster than they should

Life as a parent is pretty packed. Parenthood is often described as the “rush hour of life” – especially with small children. We look after them, organize them, cook, clean, read to them. In short: we only want the best for our children. We want them to not miss out on anything, encourage them as best we can, and give them the opportunity to try out hobbies and other activities. But we are often not aware that this can also cause them stress.

The reasons for the “Hurried Child Syndrome”

The term was originally developed by the American psychologist David Elkind and assumes that we put children in situations that exceed their developmental capabilities.

According to the magazine “Psychology Today,” the term is used particularly frequently around the start of school. The long holidays are over and everyday life with all its structures is back. This is not good for all children (or parents), because now there is little time left for relaxed play and spontaneous wishes. Many children have learned to function well in this system and yet are increasingly suffering from various fears.

Because: We rush through our lives, through our everyday lives – and pass the hectic pace on to our children. Whether it's the morning drop-off at daycare or school, the next appointment or an appointment at the dentist – it's difficult to just be a child between all the to-dos. There are certainly parents who have a precise plan for how their time outside of daycare or school should look, but many others don't actually want to do exactly that: to have their children completely planned out.

And yet we may do it far too often. As Parents magazine describes, some parents treat their children like mini-adults, with no time for relaxation or play, and may even burden them with tasks that are not appropriate for their age. We have the best intentions, but we are doing our children a disservice if we constantly expect things from them that are beyond their capabilities or capacities – and only for our own sake. Competition starts with the little ones and continues into school. This often makes parents feel like they are not doing enough for their child, that they need to push or encourage them even more. But the focus should be much more on developing social and emotional skills.

12 possible signs that our child is under pressure

Pressure can affect interpersonal and psychological levels. In addition, the signs of overload can also appear on a physical level – just like in adults:

Your child …

How we can try to avoid pressure

Children cannot always verbally communicate their worries to us – perhaps because they cannot yet identify their feelings themselves, or because they lack the words to do so. If we notice signs of stress in our children, we can try to slow down the pace of everyday life using the approaches mentioned above. Less is more: fewer play dates, fewer fixed dates for hobbies, and more freedom to play and be. Let's not focus on performance, but on our children, as wonderful as they already are.

lha
PARENTS