I almost broke my neck in a terrible accident. I learned a lot about male friendship

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I'm the type of person who, once I start something, I'm completely committed to it.

When I started mountain biking in New Zealand, where I used to live, I quickly became obsessed.

What started as a hobby soon evolved into working at a mountain bike shop, managing it, becoming a trail builder and traveling the world building trails.

Mountain biking was my life, my identity, my community.

It was what gave me a purpose.

I loved the brotherhood I had built through my passion, and I believed these friendships would last a lifetime.

But one day everything changed.

The hardest decision I ever had to make

I had become a father for the first time and was extremely happy to be a dad.

When my daughter was nine months old, I had a terrible accident in a race. I was close to breaking my neck and back.

I had broken many bones over the years, but this time was different.

My wife and baby were there and that was a huge wake-up call. I was lucky to survive that crash. At that moment I knew I had to put my family before my obsession.

I guess I was afraid of not being able to be the father I wanted to be or of not being able to provide for my family.

I could have just called it back.

But for me it was all or nothing. So I decided to give up the sport I loved so much. It was the hardest decision I have ever made.

I didn't expect people to chase me, but I thought I would have a little more support.

This plunged me into a deep depression. During this time I quickly realized that I was also losing contact with all the people in the mountain bike scene that I considered my friends.

Yes, I started walking. I didn't expect people to run after me, but I thought I would have a little more support.

Although there were still occasional conversations on social media, I still felt very alone.

I tried to slowly get back into mountain biking, but it wasn't the same. The passion and enthusiasm were gone.

But I knew I needed to connect and try something new, so I joined a local kayaking group and started making new friends again.

Through self-reflection I found peace

I kayaked for about four years, but ironically had to give it up due to old mountain biking injuries. I kept a few friendships from the kayaking scene, but I was happy knowing that those friends had served a purpose for me and I had done the same for them.

I had also now made peace with what had happened after my injury and had time to reflect on the past. I had realized that nothing lasts forever.

Friendships are no exception, but it has taught me how important connections are outside of sports as well.

Now the next adventure was ahead: moving to Australia.

After Tim and his family moved to Australia, he joined a local fathers' community group. Source: Delivered

I decided to take a year off and switched roles with my wife. I took the time to hang out with my youngest daughter before she went to school. Although I loved being a stay-at-home dad, I missed the socializing.

A friend of mine pointed me to a Facebook group called “Dad's Community.”

Finding my community through my fatherhood

I joined the group and immediately felt like I belonged. The group was very active and suited my needs.

As I began participating in group activities, it became very clear that even though our reasons for participating were different, we all had one thing in common: We were all on a journey that was not only about what it means to be a father—but also about being a good father.

Through the time spent in the group, solid contacts and friendships have been formed.

Bonds are deeper than just a shared sport because a father's struggles and successes are so complex.

Even though we all come from different social classes and have different motivations for being here, our common interest is to be better fathers than we were yesterday.

We share on a deeper level, we are all there for each other and we don't judge anyone in the group – no matter what the person is going through.

Community is very important to me and over the years I have learned some valuable lessons about friendships and relationships. One of them is that in order to build deeper connections, you have the opportunity to be vulnerable.

It's so important for our mental health and overall well-being. Some friends are meant to serve a purpose, as you are with them, and it's okay to move on or let people walk away from you.

For more information and support on mental health issues, visit and under 1300 22 4636 and under and on 1300 78 99 78.

For more stories, see hosted by Kumi Taguchi. From sex and relationships to health, wealth and grief, Insightful offers deeper insights into the lives and first-person narratives of former guests of the acclaimed TV show Insight.

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I almost broke my neck in a terrible accident. I learned a lot about male friendship

The hardest decision I ever had to make

Through self-reflection I found peace

Finding my community through my fatherhood

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I almost broke my neck in a terrible accident. I learned a lot about male friendship

The hardest decision I ever had to make

Through self-reflection I found peace

Finding my community through my fatherhood

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